There couldn't be a better time to make this post. The reason for that is that lately I've been having quite the hard time in my life. I'm not going to get into too much detail but all I can say is that I had quite a heavy phase of depression. I don't know if anyone noticed but I had this blog blocked for a little while. But I don't want to be all sad here and explain all the reasons.
For the moment I still can't safely say that it is all over but lately I've been having these random unexpected but very heavy moments of happiness in times and places where there is not that much to be happy about and they've truly been a breath of fresh air. A very huge part of me getting better were the people who either saw that I really needed help and provided the best they could or didn't see anything but not knowingly were there for me when I needed it the most. I could not be more grateful for that.
So I'm very happy to make this list of the things that finally do make me happy:
1. Being able to make this list. While being in my very sad moments I would remember that making this list always had made me look on things from a different perspective and it had always made me realize that there are so many thing to be happy about. But I just could not think of anything that would make me happy and that would make me even sadder. So I am very very happy to be able to think of things that make me happy!
2. My orchids blooming. All my life all I could manage to do with plants would be to kill them. But for the past year I've been growing three orchids in my room and last week one of them bloomed!
3. Those few friends that were there for me. I had really really bad thoughts and they made them go away and I couldn't thank them enough (I literally tried to thank them as muchas humaly possible).
4. The laugh I had with my grandma today. I am a type of person that visits her grandparents every week. I love them very much and I know that they won't be around forever so I try to have as much time together as we can. But my grandma is always very worried about everything and even though we talk a lot, we don't usually joke around. However, today me and my grandma had a really nice laugh together and it's really nice to see a different fun side of her.
5. Spending time with my dad. I do not live with my dad and being a medstudent I don't have a lot of free time so I rarely see my dad. I know that I'm 21 and it's time to grow up and find a life, but I really do love my dad a lot and I really enjoy spending time with him (because we have that special father-dauther bond). So doing something with him for a whole afternoon made me really happy.
6. My permit to the university GYM. I had a holiday week and suddenly having all this free time was really confusing to me. However, that meant that I had all the time I wanted to spend working out. Everyday I spent at least 2 hours in there and it was like a personal therapy. It really became my happy place.
7. Reading. This is funny but I'm really happy that I can read. The other day I was cleaning my room. When I was dusting my pile of books, that earlier mentioned random moment of hapiness struck unexpected. I remembered how many joyful moments were brought to me when reading those books and how they can make me travel in time just by reading. And I just couldn't help myself but be really happy that I can read.
8. Becoming an assistant for the speakers in TEDxVilnius. I love love love TEDtalks, I watch them all the time. So this year I decided to become a volunteer for this event. I should have been a normal non-important volunteer but then my friend who is a co-organiser there recommended me for a promotion and I got the assistant duty. So this makes me happy in two ways: first of all, I'm very happy for the job itself, I can't even believe what I'll be doing! But second and even more important source of my joy is that somebody trusted me enough to recommend me for these big resposibilities.
9. This website. It helped me A LOT. And even though I'm better now, I still like to switch it on every free moment I have.
That's all I can think for now but that is still more than I could say a little time back, so I'm grateful for this. I think I should write this list regularly just because I wouldn't sink in sadness no more. This way I would constantly need to think about something happy. But we'll see how that goes.
Thank you for reading!